My Birthday....

I have a LOVE/HATE relationship with my birthday!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE my birthday!
I HATE HATE HATE that it is ALWAYS Memorial weekend.
I am always forced to do something like go to a wedding or family function instead of doing something I WANT to do for MY birthday.
Even if I can do something I want to do inviting other people along is a challenge as well since it is Memorial weekend and they too have family obligations and plans!! This year is a BIG year in birthdays for me.
It is only 6 weeks and a few days away.
May 26th! I will be 40!!
EKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Where did my 30's go?
Why did they fly by so fast?
I wanted to have a BIG HUGE 40th birthday party this year.
Do it the weekend of May 14th. 2 weeks before the big day so people still might be willing to travel and get a weekend off before their Memorial weekend obligations. But then I got annoyed that I had to plan my own 40th birthday party.

{SIDE NOTE: This is the ONLY time I have ever wanted to be in a serious relationship because then it would be his job to plan a party for the love of his life on her big special day!}

NOT one family member has said anything like... "So, what would you like to do for your 40th birthday?" No friends. Nothing... No one... My mom and her side of the family are off the hook... My mom is dealing with MAJOR financial issues. Her brother in law has been in the hospital for the last 6 weeks or so due to a botched leg surgery from November. While in the hospital they discovered he had Stage 3 breast cancer. He has since had a double mastectomy. And about 4 leg surgeries to try to SAVE his leg. He is getting better but is lower than tits on a snake emotionally as is the rest of the family. And very understandably so.

My dad & mom2 are always great about making me feel like a total princess on my birthday but I have no desire what so ever to travel to Minnesota yet again for my birthday. Besides the last birthday I had up there about 5 years ago was the absolute worst birthday ever. We went to my dad's cabin. We went to dinner. I had to take my little brother Matt to buy cigaretts before dinner. I was just pissed. Why were my parents letting my 18 year old brother smoke and providing him with money and transportation to get the smokes... It didnt help that the much hated Russian boy was still living with them. He was a complete ass the entire weekend. Russian boy did everything he could to make the weekend shitty. It was pure hell. The icing on the cake....one of the TSA agaents at the airport STOLE my birthday tiara out of my suitcase from MSP to DFW. I was just pissed.

Last year I was in Nashville for my birthday and it was wonderful. Very low key. my mom was supposed to come to town but had a scrapbook weekend or something else to attend. So, it was just me and my Nashy families The Williams and The Lee's. They delivered above and beyond. Paul & Christa and their boys Charlie & Jack made me dinner and gave me a cake the night before my birthday. Then the night of my birthday Ryder, his wife Jess and their daughters Vivi & Bella made me dinner. Ryder played some new songs for me and sang me Happy Birthday.... If you know me at all you know how much I love Ryder's singing!! It was a perfect birthday!! The most amazing part was they had just gotten back from a trip to Atlanta and took time for my birthday even tho they were exhausted and had been gone the week before.

This year I have NO plans for my birthday! NONE! Not one! No mention has been made of the impending doom of the big 4-0! No one one wearing black and "UH-OH Kate is the BIG 40!" pins. No girls night out to see naked men shakin their junk in speedos. No back yard bbq's with cold beer, dogs, cup cakes and fun people. No men wanting to wisk me away for a weekend of drinks, fun and nakedness. No one trying to get a hold of my address book to plan a surprise of epic proportion even if it is juts having everyone bombard me with cards and emails. Yes, I realize it is still 6 weeks away but damn! I am not feeling the love. I am feeling like an after thought and that is a crappy feeling. I still might throw a party. Clearly if you want anything done you have to do it yourself. But was really hoping someone else would step up at this point. But who am I kidding. Im done worrying about turning 40. I don't feel like I am that damn old. I don't look like I am that damn old. So, I won't act like I am that damn old! Done feeling bad! On to more productive things!! Have a GREAT week!! XOXOXO Kate